Pogo Revisited

“We have met the enemy and they is us.” Pogo

I always loved that quote from Walt Kelly’s comic strip. His animal characters, the residents of the swamp, reflect all the foibles of human nature—selfishness, stupidity, greediness, and narrow-mindedness, but ironically, they are harmless because most of their faults are directed inward toward themselves.

What an accurate representation of the world that we live in! We complain about taxes, laziness, and too many governmental rules and regulations that result in the short-circuiting of our personal self-actualization. But the simple fact is this: It’s our fault. Many of us have lost our personal moral compass and as a result, certain institutions must step in to act “in loco parentis”.

How does this relate to careers, education and your life?
In the swamp, Pogo Possum is the only character that sees this. Take a look at your own life, can you see it?

In our search for something meaningful, we are our own worst enemy. Instead of choosing the difficult journey, we opt for the easy road. With the malodorous fear of success in our head, we subconsciously self-sabotage our well-being to sink back into our comfort zone, where we are lulled into complacency and sleepwalk through our lives.

It is excruciatingly painful to grow and change. You must navigate unchartered territory never knowing the outcome of that journey, but hoping that it matches that vision planted in your head. You're oblivious to the fact that everything and everyone around you is changing everyday. It’s an imperceptible change that you don’t feel or recognize, but it’s there just the same. You are the only one kicking and screaming to remain in the same place.

Start today and make your inner self your best friend, instead of your worst enemy. Monitor your daily actions and see if you, yourself, are the one barricading yourself from your ultimate potential.

Have a Heaping Helping of Thanksgiving With A Pinch of Guilt

As most Americans move from the table to the television, I hope all of you have given sincere thanks for your many blessings, but I hope you have a added just a pinch of healthy guilt to your full stomach.

Many, many Americans (and non-Americans) are suffering greatly, not just today, but everyday. It doesn’t matter if it’s the homeless on the streets of Downtown Lubbock or on the savannahs of Sudan, people are suffering, while we are full, warm, entertained and sadly, oblivious.

Thinking that guilt should not apply to them, more Americans and Lubbockites (than I care to admit) will shrug this message off—“Hey, well, I don’t feel very bad for those people, some of them have made bad choices and besides, I have a right to this, I’ve worked hard, saved, and led a good life and besides I give to my church to give to those people”.

“Those people”…that’s the term that makes me cringe.

But for the Grace of God, go I. Think about where you began your life—much of your success can be attributed to being born with advantages—good infant health, two parents (or one really committed strong parent), an education, access to good health care as a child, and continued good health far into your working years.

“Those people” may not have been a "lucky sperm of month club" or a "winning egg in the ovarian lottery" as Warren Buffett so aptly puts it—YOU, either by chance of birth or by geography, by DNA, by religion, by gender, could be one of “those people”. By chance, you could have been born in the poorest slum in Mexico or the outbacks of Tasmania, or the thick forests in Jakarta.

I don't know if many of you realize it, but your grasp on prosperity is tenuous, very tenuous. If you got lucky with your birth circumstance, you may not have fared so well with your “happenstance”. You might have begun life with a lucky beginning, but perhaps worked in an occupation that made you sick, or fought in a war that took your limbs, or your livelihood was downsized and you couldn’t find work and you used alcohol or drugs to take away the pain of your loss. Unlucky, unlucky, unlucky…with a mere toss of the dice, you might be one of “those people”—in a soup kitchen today instead of your stainless steel kitchen.

In my thirty years of work in education, where most of my “customers” were those in dire socioeconomic straits—I can’t think of a single one that WANTED, really wanted to be in the situation they found themselves. They truly didn’t know the path to get out. That’s where YOU come in.

Helping out the disenfranchised doesn’t mean throwing money at the problem, it means building bonds with “those people”. That’s what “those people” need most—the unconditional positive regard of those in other places. They need someone to convince them that they are not “those people”, the losers, the underbelly of the world—some strange American equivalent to an “untouchable” caste.

Guilt is a negative emotion, but some times guilt is an effective motivator in getting people off the couch and out into the world of “those people”.

The Constant Quest for Authenticity

One of the most precarious pitfalls to which a career counselor can succumb is to give advice and not follow it. It's a throwback to those parental voices--"Do as I say, not as I do."

One of the methods I use for life planning in Career TPMS is for clients to create a broad Interstate Highway plan for life, but with Access Road possibilities. Life is a journey and like any well-planned trip, we know Interstate Highways are the fastest, safest, smoothest method of getting to our destination.

On the other hand, any experienced driver knows that Interstate Highway's all look alike with little variation, and after a while, those predictably safe roads can literally put a driver to sleep.

The most interesting journeys require that we take a chance, get off the highway and visit an out-of-the-way place. Sometimes those detours are joyfully serendipitous and sometimes, not, but we can easily get back on the Interstate Highway and continue our trip, until the next detour beckons to us.

Over two years have passed, since I sold my home of 26 years, downsized to a small condominium, and relinquished my maternal role to the misty landscapes of the past. My Interstate Highway plan was to practice career counseling June to December and to write and speak January through May.

Then an Access Road possibility appeared--in the form of running for political office. I got off the Interstate and took the detour--it didn't turn out the way I envisioned, but I don't consider it a loss--not even close. I shared my heart and my ideals with hundreds of people who were strangers at first and now, they are friends.

More importantly, for my clients, I'm an authentic example of the Interstate Highway Plan/Access Road Possibilities. I took Robert Frost's less traveled road and it did, indeed, make all the difference, but now, back on the Interstate, none the worse for wear.

I held my breath, took a risk, leapt off into the black abyss of the unknown and uncertain. I survived and miraculously, thrived.

My present Interstate Highway plan is to get Of Tapestry, Time and Tears published, travel to India in January and stay for at least eight weeks following in the footsteps of the heroine of the novel. I have spring plans for going with a dear friend who has a home in Condessa, a colonias of Mexico City, to talk to a student who is doing a dissertation on human rights violations in Mexico. Then to dive back into career counseling in June through December.

But those are just my Interstate Plans.

Another access road might call to me to get off the Interstate and I will do just that.

Take a risk, be frightened, but don't attach any expectation to the outcome.

I can now say that to my clients with the greatest of confidence and most importantly, authenticity.

You're More Powerful Than You Think

I ran for political office because I wanted to serve people (I've had a lifelong love affair with people) and I wanted to change things for others.

It wasn't a disingenuous desire, it certainly wasn't a good career move, it wasn't a craving for power or influence because I don't operate that way. It was only because I wanted to help Texas to become a state whose sole purpose was to serve people.

I didn't win the election.

Am I disappointed? Amazingly, no. Through daily morning and evening prayers and faithful meditation, I released my attachment to the outcome of this election many, many months before November. I didn't ask to win or lose--I only asked for what would be in the best interest of people and for me---a blessing for me and for others--and I received it.

Something I've realized through all of this is that I am POWERFUL and most importantly, NOT by being in political office. I must have independence, creativity, and freedom and all of that would be stifled by being a cog in a wheel within a system.

It's that independence, creativity and freedom that provides my power.

Everyone has the power to be an agent of change--it can be within your own home, your neighborhood, your career, your peer group--anywhere.

Pick a cause, any cause--the list is endless. My cause is helping people to plan their lives so that they may live more abundantly--both spiritually and monetarily--helping people of all ages to navigate their way through their life and through time.

Each one of us must take up the righteous sovereign for others in some small way. Each one of us has a mission--a purpose for why we were present on this earth--find yours.

You have much more power than you think--a drop of water is nothing unless there are many drops of water--then it creates an ocean.

Don't think about limitations, think about possibilities--use your power.

How Much Progress Are You Making on Your Dream?

The older we get, the more time seems to get away from us.

If you remember when you were young, time went sooooo slowly. Summers were forever, getting to Christmas was such an unbearably long time and it seemed as if you would never grow up. We always wanted to be older than we were, sometimes even lying about it--remember sneaking into bars even though you weren't 21?

Now, time and our lives seem to whiz at nanospeed. We look up dreading Mondays and then wonder where the week went when Friday rolls around. We reach our birthday and wonder what we did with that year of our life that just passed and is behind us.

Are you just going to let those years roll by and then live with a litany of regrets? Are you going to be sitting in a rocking chair thinking about all the things you could have done and wonder why you didn't?

Think about this: Who are the people that you've admired in your life? It might be an ordinary person that you know--someone in your neighborhood or an acquaintance at church. It might be someone famous like Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, or Nelson Mandala--those historical giants that have left a great legacy with their work and efforts. Each and every one of those individuals was just like you AT SOME POINT. They were young and had big dreams of something, a passion, that they wanted to accomplish. They each could have allowed jobs, family, health, aging parents, setbacks, or money problems to derail the creation and development of their vision. But, they didn't.

What makes them different from you? They had the determination to accomplish something that was so important and so overriding to all their personal life issues that they persisted and as a result, were successful.

Each one of us is the same as these famous people. We all have the potential to be great. We all have the qualities deep within us to accomplish our most cherished dreams.

All it takes is the GAS of determination to propel us to that treasured destination.

Explaining the Importance of Early Memories in Career Counseling

I love exploring the Early Memory Construct in career counseling.
If we all asked ourselves, hmmmm, "What is my earliest memory?", focus on that memory and analyze it, we would learn a lot about ourselves, how we see ourselves and how we fit into the world.

One of my counseling heroes, Alfred Adler, believed that personalities or visions of how we "fit" into the world are established at a very early age. He also believed that children formed a definite "prototype" of themselves by age five.

This is a valid argument, because brain research indicates that humans normally develop explicit and semantic memory after the second birthday. That would indicate that most individuals would "store" certain significant memories between two and five. Why is your earliest memory significant? It is because that is your first memory of being a person, separate from your parents, separate from your environment, your first experience as an individual being

One would think that the significance of one's earliest memory might be diminished or changed after going through subsequent experiences later in childhood, but it does not. An individual will go through life in a series of attempts to prove or disprove their earliest memory.

An example of this was a 40 year old female client of mine who was desperately desiring to make a career change. Her career in social work was literally killing her. She was a wonderfully warm, caring person, who was selfless--not only in her work life, but with her family, her church and her community. Her early memory was this: One Christmas when she was four, she received an outdoor log cabin playhouse. Family finances were a problem that year because her father had been unemployed, but they were eager to give their four year old daughter the thing she wanted most. Instead of being overjoyed at her parents' generosity, she cried and cried and felt horrible. She felt that did not deserve such happiness at such a difficult time. She felt guilty.

This early memory was carried like baggage for the rest of her life--that she was undeserving and that others always came before self. She even chose a profession that perpetuated this "me last" feeling.

So what is your earliest memory? and what do you think this has to do with your feeling about yourself and your work?

My Wish for Independence Day

Even though we are the greatest country in the world, we can become better. We can be a more compassionate and welcoming nation.

My wish is that we would have less divisions between the rich and the poor: that the rich should be willing to lend a hand to those who have less and that the poor should be willing to have a life that involves more hope.

Every child that is born in America should have equal access to a good life--regardless where they are born, regardless of who their parents are or what they do.

The circumstances to which one is born should not dictate their future.

America ranks 6th in the world as having the greatest disparity between rich and poor. We can't afford to let this continue. If you remember Marie Antoinette's statement about cake, take heed!

People Watching

The lake and park across the street from my house provides great opportunities to "people watch". I love to people watch. Could I call it hobby? Perhaps. I enjoy observing what people wear, how they walk, their interactions with their pets, their walking companions, intricacies of body language....suddenly I had the thought that this could be a future subject for blogging. Each park walker has a story and it plays out in their walk everyday. Now if I could just dig in to their story by simple observation.

What a difference a YEAR makes....

Last year at this time, I was looking for a smaller, more efficient house. The huge house I had lived in for 26 years no longer suited my needs or life style.

With my son grown and out on his own, I no longer had "herds" of teenagers spending the night or parties on the patio. 3,000 SF was too big for a 50-something lady and a little dog.

I found a small townhome on a lake and a park in town, moved there, the big house was vacant for a year and a lot happened in the last year that made me grow, changed my way of thinking and all of those activities that assist in a transition.

This a lesson that I can pass on to my career counseling clients: when your working life no longer supports your desired lifestyle you need to make a change--yes, it is scary, yes, it is a hassle, yes, you will be frustrated at first, yes, you will realize that your "change" destination will not be as perfect as you had hoped....but when the dust settles and you can finally take a breath, you will realize you did the right thing.

Living or Surviving?

with all this talk of economy, gas, food shortages, etc...have to ask myself am i living or just surviving?

could I live with less and still be happy?

am I spending most of my time taking care of my possessions and things?

are my possessions there for me or am I SERVING my possessions.

I start to wonder when I spend most of my waking moments taking care of THINGS....

I remember there was a Cathy (remember her?) cartoon that said: "the 80's woman" and it had all these inanimate THINGS in the background screaming commands at her as if they were ALIVE. "Water me, feed me, clean me, file me, cook me, paint me, help me, fix me, wash me...."

That is exactly how I feel....

I am beginning to weigh quality vs. quantity....

Just one statement...

"I feel the capacity to care...that is the thing which gives life its deepest significance." Pablo Casals

We don't realize that things we might say in passing have a tremendous significance in someone's life.

In junior high, I was not a good athlete--one of things I could NOT do was climb the rope up to the ceiling of the gym--most students could--I was very embarassed. After I was humiliated by my failure several times, my PE teacher motioned for me to quit trying but she said--"I bet you are a baseball queen though! What a wise teacher....

In school, I remember precious few compliments or any real connections with teachers, especially in high school. Most did not want to make any real connection with students--the" garage door" was closed to that...

After making what I perceived to be a very low score on the SAT, my homeroom teacher said I should not waste my time in college--another teacher, seeing I was upset...surprisingly laughed at the story--"what a stupid woman....she didn't bother to see you made a PERFECT SCORE on the verbal section....what a fool....it was the score in Math that made your score appear to be low...you must be very gifted in writing and speaking..." and so I became gifted in writing and speaking...

The power of words...no one is more affected by the power of words than children and especially teenagers....we should be careful of what we say and how we say it...

The Beginning of the Effect of Retiring Boomers

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Retiring Baby Boomers are going to change business, the economy, and entire career cultures.

Here is more proof: CareerBuilder.com is now starting an off-shoot called Personified. This start-up is in response to the following statistic: 41% of employers say they have positions for which they cannot find qualified talent. 27% say that they have retained workers which they don't really want because of the employee shortages in key levels.

Putting Power Back in Our Own Hands

When I was a "baby counselor", I was not too interested in Glasser's theory, but I grown to appreciate it more and more every day.

When trying to solve a problem, simply ask three questions:

1. What do I want?

2. What action am I am taking to get what I want?

3. Is what I am doing working?

It is easy and it is simple to understand--no going back and rehashing the past, no getting in touch with feeling (or not very much)

We can only control ourselves by knowing what we want and DOING actions that get us to that thing that we want.

Those three questions should be addressed everyday, just as we make our "to do" list.

Class War--anyone???

The news is rather ominous of late.

Unemployment is up...up....up...credit is tight, the dollar is down. Gas is predicted to rise to $4 a gallon soon.

Even Walmart sales are down, down, down...but ironically sales at Tiffany's, Harry Winston are soaring. What can we take from these observations. That old bug-a-boo about which no one wants to dialogue: income inequality, increasing income disparity....

There is no doubt about it, the middle class is shrinking and those at the top of the income pyramid are increasingly distancing themselves...the USA, who used to herald that all are created equal, is quickly re-creating itself into a country of rigid social hierarchy that resembles India--we are being morphed into the American version of untouchables and Brahmins.

Statistics show that Corporate CEO's in 1999 made 410 times what their employees made. Then add this: 92% of political contributions are made by 1% of the richest Americans. The worker bees are starting to buzzz....

The wise Greek philosopher, Plutarch once remarked, "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal element of all republics."

If anyone remembers the Russian czars, Nero or Marie Antoinette--it can happen again. Wars based on religious dissonance are not that far removed from wars sparked by the frustration of the have-nots--especially when the "haves" flaunt their wealth so ostentatiously.

I believe that 2007 will be the tipping point, so I am getting my affairs in order.

Post this everyday and read it...

Steps to Happiness

1. Being with the people you love should be your first priority every day.



2. Be in love with your work. Search for work that satisfies you and is important to you. You don't have to change the whole world by yourself. If you would were guaranteed minimal monetary support--what would you do with your time?



3. Help everyone that comes your way.



4. Find out the things that make you happy and make time to do those things.



5. Get moving. Your brain produces its own antidepressant if you exercise--cannot get it any other way...



6. Stay organized, but be flexible. Seize an opportunity if it comes your way.



7. Try to maintain a balance in every you do. Those who hit the highest highs also reach the lowest lows--that's science...

Think of Life's Little Grrrrrr's as Brain Exercise

We, as Americans, are a weak lot.

We let little things get to us....

rude store clerks, doors that stick, trash that is piling up...long lines at the grocery store..

If we would just think of these "little things" as a get fit period that will help us through the "big things", then we will be alright...

The Fallacy of One Life--One Career....

How can we be expected to remain in one career our entire life?

For most of us, the choice of careers is made when we are a young and impressionable (albeit inexperienced) eighteen years old. Most have never lived away from parents, have not attended college, many have never held a job of any kind.

so for that one moment of revelation, that one seized second are we forever committed to that career decision.

I am not the same person that I was at 18 or 25 or 35 or 40 or even 50 (I am 54). Opportunities and experiences happen everyday that make me think: "ooh that would be fun to do that..." most individuals however are locked in financially OR emotionally to that career decision that we made at 18....and particularly so if it is a career that required a great deal of money or time....

As I work with individuals (most of whom are in the 18-20 age bracket) I try to get them to think across the life span--but in a way that in non-committal. I try to get them to anticipate the lifestyle changes that inevitably come with certain ages and experiences (having children, planning for retirement)--this helps to not only arm them with possibilities and options (remember...forewarned is forearmed!!!) but also a sense of control over their own life....

Our City doesn't like old things

Apparently, the City of Lubbock doesn't like old landmarks to stand in the way of progress...

They have recently completed the North Overton project successfully demolishing almost 80 years of Lubbock history--just in time for our Centennial in 2009...

I have been discussing this issue with other forum posters here in town and most agree--funny, it is the young ones who don't agree..one poster actually stated "they should tear down more, we don't care about your old crusty memories"...maybe we ARE the only ones who care...because we knew about those places when we were younger Lubbockites...

Now, it seems that another landmark is going to go...The old Tara landmark presently stands at 4th and Slide and may be demolished to make way for yet another road to extend all the way to Loop 289.

I have very vivid memories of this house because when I was very little, my mother had a friend who lived somewhat near this house and we always went by there...taking the long dirt road east away from the house and back to my house across town...I would sit in the back seat and look out the car's rear window....amid the dust clouds from our car, the house would get smaller and smaller and smaller....there was nothing else around except for the lombardy populars for windbreaks and fields and fields of cotton....

This house definitely has 9 lives just like the most lucky of cats...it has been reincarnated as a house, a restaurant, a club, and now a headquarters for a travel center chain.

It has a historic designation so I am wondering IF they can tear it down.

Perhaps, this will enable it to begin its 9th life..I would hate to nothing to see to remind me of those afternoons car rides with my mother.

If We're Lucky....

No one more personifies the idea of a mid-life career changer than Patrick Dennis a.k.a. Edward Everett Tanner III. What ? name doesn't ring a bell?

Remember Auntie Mame ? The story was that a young "poor little rich boy" is sent to live with his very eccentric, life-loving aunt--where she really teaches him how he is loved and how to really live. The famous movie from the 50's starred Rosalind Russell

After he could no longer count on his "muse" he became a professional butler.

He always learned how to adapt---I guess he really took to heart "Life is a banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death".

In spite of all the "chatter", no one is prepared....

Everyday you read and hear about "Baby boomer news"--a reminder that 77 million individuals, a large percentage of the world's population is aging. I, personally, don't see much change or preparation for this SURGE of aging people and the challenges they will bring to U.S. health care, buying habits, lack of retirement funds, housing, employment, prescriptions, aids to compensate for less mobility, hearing, and vision.....

We read or hear all of this, but I don't think it has "sunk in" yet (pardon the West Texas colloquialism) I think it will affect us more than anyone realizes.

Career-wise--the U.S. will need more skilled and knowledgable workers because the numbers needed are just NOT THERE with Generation X. Another problem is the "brain drain" in several industry sectors--education, government, and business created by BB's retirement. The workers who have "been there" know why "fences" were built, policies were created--and why they should or should not be changed--something that the next generation doesn't realize.

I saw this in public education the last five years I was there. Supervisors and managers said "let's do this..." and it couldn't be done because it was against education laws and codes. Dangerous...when the knowledge base for the industry is missing....

Perhaps as we get closer to the real "wave", we will panic. In 2031, the ratio of non-workers to workers will be 2:1--that will mean more people are not working than working--not due to unemployment but because of retirement or disability....what will we do about this? Will it mean that industry will offer enticing $$ offers to lure BB's out of retirement to "fix"things? or will it mean we could see a complete crash in career sectors?

I am not looking forward to it.....